exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
