Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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