i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well you can't waste a boner
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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