Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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