That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
