My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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