Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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