He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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