Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
