the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm really busy with my period
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