if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars