so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.