Got a toothbrush?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You made out with two different species that night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
