I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
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stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.