hell yes lets make some ravioli
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
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We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wear drunk well.