Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
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The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.