the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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