you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what day is it and did you see me today?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
