My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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