just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize