Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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