whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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