You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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