i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
