remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
