Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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