Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
