i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
