so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
