Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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