Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
