Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
