Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
