im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
