i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
