Just fell off a train. Bad.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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