you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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