why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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