I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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