it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
