he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
