Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
