yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
