you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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