I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My feet surprised me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
