I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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