How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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