quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Boobs are out for the taking
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
