So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
