operation have a gay friend backfired
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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