O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
