ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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