Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
the raccoons are back...
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