So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
