I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
