absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
