So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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