if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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