I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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