I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My dick has a subreddit
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
