I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
