I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
