I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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