Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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