Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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