Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize