so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
even my farts smell like vagina
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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